About - Gold Beach King

Go to content
Bob & Dianne Evans
Bob and dianne Evans
Loyality to each other is a treasure that we have gained from Gods word  for 80+ years between us

We lived in gold beach many years ago, Now we have returned to the the area known as Neski Beach
 Best people ever, Sun sets Sun rises =  Ocean, - Clean Air - No fast  food - No traffic lights - No boat docks -
No gas Stations, Yes a little  market. " perfect. Paved roads -
The tide comes in the tide goes out and we just stay the same.
Life is good, Waiting for paridice.  Enjoying our boys Watson and Dax



Funny Story " Rope A Deer

                               
    Actual letter from someone who farms,
                                         He writes well and has tried this:
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. they are easy as finding rabbits, I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), Hey sweet as a lop, it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
 
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so
I would have a good hold.
 
The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.
 
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.
 
A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature
off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess
that the feeling was mutual.
> Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so
I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite?
They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull.. They bite HARD and it hurts.
The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.
> It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.
 
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
 
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal --like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse.. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
 
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a bow or rifle with a scope
to sort of even the odds...
 
All these events are true so help me God... An Educated, Bruised and Bleeding Rancher...... who now is going to raise Rabbits.




_____________________________

_____________________________




If you think you know the anwser Thats worth putting your money on it

Funny Joke____________________________________

 FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
              
                In Florida, an atheist created a case   against the upcoming Easter and  Passover holy days.  He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination  case against Christians, Jews  
and observances of their holy days.
              The argument was that it was  unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.
              The case was brought before a judge.
               After listening to  the passionate presentation by the lawyer,                         
                    the judge banged his gavel declaring,  "Case dismissed!"    
                

                                   The lawyer    immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how                 can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have    Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur  and  Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

              The judge leaned forward in his chair saying,
"But you do. as he spoke to the atheist " Your lawyer is woefully ignorant."
            
              The lawyer said,   "Your Honor, we are not aware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
                           The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st  and it's  April Fools Day..    

                        Then  Quoting  Psalm 14:1 states,  'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.
              
              ' Thus,  it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is  no God,
 then he is a fool.  Therefore, April 1st is his day.

              Court is adjourned.
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

_______________Another Joke_____________

Lawyer Humor A young attorney who had taken over his   father's practice
              rushed home elated one night.

"Dad, listen," he shouted,  "I've finally settled that  old McKinney suit."

"Settled it!" cried his  astonished father. "Why, you idiot!
We have been living off of that money for five years!"

__________________________Another Joke_______________________________

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this,
the wife wants him to quit;
she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.

After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says "
I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water it, and it swims around.

She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says,
feeling that she has made her point clear,
"what do you have to say about this experiment?"

He responds by saying:
"If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

____________________________Another Joke_________________________________

As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most--his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them,
"I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me."

All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside.

While riding in the limousine back from the cemetery, the clergyman said, "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin."

The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that."

The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you.
When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."


Back to content